johnho

We are all, we are there!

2008-01-27T23:08:00.001-08:00

Top of the world...
love & be loved in return

Thinking of you in ONE second!

2008-01-20T01:45:00.000-08:00

How sexy u re?
Yes.. u re
: ) : (

Ace okay?

2008-01-20T01:37:00.001-08:00

I saw a man hidden in the sun.
gotta be careful,
cos it was...
me

Every day is a Christmas day...

2007-12-25T03:57:00.000-08:00

i have no close friends here... just doing what i think is important to me... sometimes am feeling hard... but time goes..and then we grow... we have known for a long time... i know what friends are for and what i need to do, with my family and with my friends... as the time i wud like to see and hang along with.

i feel embarrassed

as they ask why i didn't call as i was there, or something mite be expected from me...; they still mean something to me..and just at the time... i got to follow my gut feeling to do things..sometimes i even like to be alone or to isolate myself...

i am speechless...

hopefully they will understand me... everyone needs space, there is no exception to me... we are all humans...
i do treasure them as being part of my life... walking with me, standing by me... or scolding me, for something i did stupidly, sharing or loving... i know

we re friends...

Come and go!

2007-08-04T06:10:00.000-07:00

everyone needs directions

Ignore my calling, or yours?...

2007-07-10T00:47:00.000-07:00

I saw your future
as being sheltered from the sun, in the shade of a tree
A good picture, a good scene, a good view of your life

"The butterfly wings shade to yellow"
from one to another
as sitting in the sun rather than the shade, at times
I see my future, and how about yours?!

The girl I like...

2007-06-16T04:57:00.000-07:00

Memory...
The coach heading to Winton
She staring at me as I turn...
Oh! That the one!
Where she in my life?
Mystery...

Floating vs Sleeping

2007-06-16T04:39:00.000-07:00

A picture
My wallpaper
Looking at it
45 mins after dinner
It is time
to feel sleepy :)

My quiet moments.

2007-05-07T01:29:00.000-07:00

air went dead
no ventilation
as someone hung up on me

leaves found sitting on the window
dropped dead
nothing remained
I froze I looked I thought
there were moments
as peace was coming

A pattern of trees.

2007-05-07T01:26:00.000-07:00

Life is everywhere! :)

Question mark.

2007-05-07T01:08:00.003-07:00

Variation in cultures. Really!!

No sure win, though...

2007-01-27T03:42:00.000-08:00

exams, like gambling.
prepared, or don't
but in fact, as can't.

with positive...n forwards
one day, relieved!

24-10-06 workstations:
1mastitis mistaken 4 chest infection
2scripts checking
3advice for st john wort > interaction with pills
4hospital discharge: the new meds n the old meds
5seretide puffer usuage
6chicken pox advice > what to do n immunised

13-01-07 workstations:
1nitrolingual Pump Spray 4 angina
2tramadol script > questioning > depression n diabetes > interact with sertraline n counselling > codeine recommended
3scripts checking
4explained meds 4 prevention 4 malarious areas:
tinida., doxy., aug. df., para., constip., diarrohe., nausea etc..
5head lice advice > conditioner checking > firmed before any meds

15-01-07 training program's certificate noticed

18-01-07 completion of my working hours at midday > documents sent

24-01-07 registered on line.

In Aussie land...

2007-01-27T03:28:00.000-08:00

09-00 landing
10-00 ten-weeks Eng.
01-01 foundation
02-02 entry
01-06 training program
01-07 registered

Variation.

2006-12-30T05:48:00.000-08:00

The light and the dark,
I, here;...you, there,
standing among the White and the Black;
the edge, filled with happiness and sadness.
People!

The greens...

2006-12-30T05:39:00.000-08:00

I am one of them.
Life, to its fullest.

Looking at me.

2006-12-30T05:33:00.000-08:00

Waiting for?
One day...
with flying colours.

A full moon...

2006-12-30T05:21:00.000-08:00

My father, my mother, my sister n me.

Seek n Hide...

2006-11-29T02:48:00.000-08:00

The heart dies a slow death,
shedding each hope like leaves
untill one day there are none.

No hopes.
Nothing remains...
I paint my face to hide my face
My eyes are deep water
my thoughts you cannot seek.

It is not for me to want
It is not for me to feel
I am the one with a floating heart!
it is blue, it is warm
Nights and days
but no more...

I danced
I sung
I entertained you.
I dance
I sing
my thoughts I cannot hide.

what ever you want
In the dark
the rest is shadows
In the light
the rest is secret.

Quality of having timeless...

2006-10-12T01:05:00.000-07:00

The Sun & The Moon;
when they meet each other

...at night, that is beautiful...
there has been no distance between him and her,
or...be apart to each other, and that will happen to me one day,...
between light and dark.
The Sun, n the Moon.

Intangible quality of life...

2006-09-20T00:09:00.000-07:00

I am in the sun,
sunrise is the most beautiful moment...
to me, that stays for ever...
The very moment that repeats itself every day.
Hope that feeds on sunrise,
to me, that glistens and shines,
in my faith, and in my heart.
The very moment, that an aura seems to surround me in,
radiating and glowing with light.
The sunrise feeds me,
good days always...

Questioning U...

2006-08-28T05:05:00.000-07:00

Don't you have a guess...

Was it the sky, or the ocean?!

Beep-beep...as a twitter!

2006-08-05T09:55:00.000-07:00

I once forgot something...

blue was the colour I liked, but now...calling my old days again!

An old song,...a new memory!

2006-07-29T10:23:00.000-07:00

Your eyes are clear enough to see through
The drops of sweet sweat shimmer on the night sky...
Finding delights will lead you to the light
It never shines when you stop and cry

Sun is rising and down
Moon does all the same dance
Roads tell us how to reach the sky
Sun is rising and down
Moon does all the same dance
Roads in between us become one

Ogiyodiora
Ogiyodiora

See, the wind blows back
And the rain comes close
So why don't we row the boat again

Even stars are living on their own
With shining all secrets without any lines
From one by one
We have different breath
But, now there is no yours and mine

If you find out the smile of the river, one day
Means that our smile's come, too
Forget I do, forget we do and through all away

See the wind has gone, and the rain faded out
Why don't we row the boat again
See the wind blows back, and the rain comes close
So, why don't we row the boat again

Ogiyodiora
Ogiyodiora...

Time goes but ppl still be there...

2006-07-18T00:24:00.000-07:00

As I am flying, you are able to see my wing...

...see my joy... from this angle...

you know, I am not alone...

whenever...wherever I could be,...

nothing ever changed, or be easily hidden...

...from inside,
the stars ever be hidden by clouds,
which I am able to see through, however;
as I love clouds...

An image in my dream came true!

2006-07-16T01:51:00.000-07:00

I ever had of cloud nine in my dream...

...is my disneyland, I have no interests in Mickey and Minnie, though!

Landing = Settle

2006-07-16T01:37:00.000-07:00

It's time to landing, and to prepare...

...in the sun, I had to settle my mind!

Just love, and be loved...

2006-07-01T23:21:00.000-07:00

The entrance to the hospital

A quiet place at Mt Isa show day

...if you are willing to embrace, they will be yours, then!

Many clouds...

2006-07-01T07:02:00.000-07:00

Dark...

Light...

Lighter...

Sheep, which you can count on, be counted at night; believe me...it helps!

A passageway...

2006-06-27T05:58:00.000-07:00

A corridor ever made me sad, worried...I saw a light, though.
A light of hope was someone you loved, It was not easy...
a long passageway where I was
...indecisive, uncertain.

I am simple as is my writing,
you would recognise or think about,
life to death...
We are dying, one day, we all are.
As a piece of news comes close, and that we be aware of,
the existence of love,
...as we are...
It is not easy...as I see a light, though, at the end of the corridor
where I am made me sad, worried...I am starting to think twice.
I am simple as being at the edge of death.
We are dying!
As there is existence of love, I am alive.
Thanks for giving me a time...
since yu re ok n i'm ok.

Mt Isa Cup

2006-06-11T22:06:00.000-07:00

There was a gathering with my colleagues yesterday. I do not like horse racing, they kept asking me to join them for a few weeks, so I was there. The Mt Isa Cup is held once a year, "Why I am being here" I thought, the fact is that I do not drink or bet..."I must look funny to the others who are passing my table as stealing a look from one another." I recognized some of them working at the hospital, and they looked different today as having kind of costumes-like something on; to me, that was exaggerated, part of the reasons for that was because of their haughty acts and snooty tones. Fortunately, they are not working with me at the same department...

Why drinking?! For special occasions? To prove yourself what? Freedom or determination? Relax or power? They yell, disturb others and cause violence at the end of the day, especially I found one of the community problems in Mt Isa is indigenous people being alcoholic. When I looked at them hysterically drinking, this global issue seemed to be never-ending, in fact, from generations to generations infinitely.

That was my obervation though! I know, you have seen the fact.

Community Care

2006-06-07T00:23:00.000-07:00

Working with people is my first precedence; it sounds strange, I know it, but just having chances to help those in needs that should be somewhat of my highlights for years, in which the works I have been doing would be more meaningful than I did in my past. It could hardly be explained, in fact. For the least moment I am in now is to make me wide awake, appreciate for what kind of the path I have been walking on over the past those years, it is clear, and certain than ever...

Today I just ate a chicken soup,:P it was yummy! so just inviting you guys to read a piece of interesting article, yummy soup which made me smile for the rest of the day...

You will be the same! I hope.

Return to earth!

2006-05-15T00:04:00.000-07:00

The ice melting returns to water, I return to earth...

I crossed over the ice on the footpath; The ice fled from the bag which someone broke accidentally a few minutes ago. I was gonna do the shopping right after work.

The weather is dry and hot,...though it seems better recently. Looking at the melting ice, it gave me kind of the impression of being in the heat! The fact is that something was over, after all, the silly thoughts once remained, I remember; as the period of time I stayed at Winton last year, to do my four-week placement. From Mt Isa to Winton, it took eight hours or so to get there by coach since I was assigned to work in Winton, the very only community pharmacy there.

This is what I said in the reflective daily log book last year:

It is at seven mins past five...Since being in the sun over the last three days, I have got kind of suntan; while in the sun, my skin became more sensitive than before...a sensation of heat...heat......heat.

Maybe I’m just not suited to remote work. I’m not social self-sufficient and do need my friends and family somehow. I can’t pick myself up and move my life in an instant without pining for something intangible that I’m not really even sure of. There is a bit of a rollercoaster that goes on in the pit of my stomach when faced with social isolation. It comes in overwhelming waves of loneliness that are always a little unexpected and appear just when I am walking along the long roads with no ends. Indeed I only have myself to rely on the next step is to pick myself but back up, brush off the sand and dust, and thus carry on until next time.

And that’s about how it goes. In the central of Queensland on a 43 degree celsius day when sleep doesn’t come easily, the air-conditioning doesn’t work well!:( and few shops in town only, funny thing is that they close before five, none opens on weekends but the supermarket on Saturday morning. The pharmacy close (as the time I finish my work) and they close...
I need food, oh! come on...need to ask a favour of the hospital kitchen to spare me some food, or I am dying, otherwise.

Now I need to get used to this similar environment; fortunately, the weather is getting cool now and besides, most importantly, my colleagues themselves are helpful, for at least I have bad chances to do works properly. Professional standards somehow is to emerge in relation to the development of both working protocols and enthusiasm for works; responsible for me, and responsible for others.

On the path?! I am, and I will be!
That is a promise, not for someone else,.. but myself.:)

The fact inside me!

2006-05-02T00:46:00.000-07:00

I quit and I felt dull...
Not in the mood, I did not want to bother anyone, so not having any written for a while.

One day you find no messages.
I am in the moments that make me sad, perhaps!

A month later, I got a new offer. Working far away from Brisbane at Mt Isa Hospital I did not expect, but now there I am. It could be a new challenge and some kind of learning process I have never, ever dealt with, starting everything from the very beginning, including their ways to manage, the protocols I need to follow in the pharmacy and the assignments I left off in Brisbane that need to be caught up, then! In somehow, I have been in a state of confusion, sort of a state of pressure unexpectedly haunting me 24 hours a day, seven days a week; they will never stop, and they will never rest...

Any news, any good that just exists, in its own ways to show me the path I reckon, to guide me where I could be, indeed! The darkness was over as I turned the corner, doing something again and again. I would take a rest as being tired of it sometimes, and morn often, I was lost! All of which have not had enough clues to give me ideas of what is going on, especially something invisible but I cannot ignore its existence. I have to be patient! Patience is a kind of high merit. Just acting as a kind of person who has been taking things seriously, and seeing things not for granted. Seeing the insights, walking around; and further, a merry-go-round running off my mind from time to time, that I assume is good, anyway!

You guys are willing to guide me, aren't you?
Just at times, I do not expect much...

My chants versus my void...

2006-03-28T23:34:00.000-08:00

I am good...
...as coming forth into the light of things!

The moments...
I did not sleep, and was standing on the edge of darkness with silence; by the window I saw sunrise, which touched my soul,...with my chants that filled my void.

I hope that...they will be, always.

A change for every ten years!...

2006-03-13T02:12:00.000-08:00

I am well-run, or far behind?!

I remember.
Primary starting to its end,..at the end of those years; long time ago things had changed I ever thought about. All of a sudden they came and overwhelmed me, hardly to death.

Secondary going to its fast,..at the end of those years; nothing left but something ever happened I could remember; a piece of news, death haunting at nights; onwards, dance which was, however, always on my mind, accompanying me with its beauty followed by being vigorous and bouncing in the next ten years, so I decided "go, go, go"...for my treasury, for my tertiary...

Tertiary leaping to its high,..it hurts as falling down;
I am adjusting...
life is shorter as is my writing, though!
Today was that date, his birth; the death, I cannot remember.

Go, go, go...!!

2006-03-08T02:45:00.000-08:00

電話錄音

好嗎？

有段時間沒有您的影。
很惦記妳愛笑的臉容，
妳在電話中的張曼玉聲線，
會給我沉悶的生活內裏暇想。
我…
剛自台北度過聖誕，
二十九日的早上發現妳的影，
在電話的另一端裏，
不自覺笑起來。

妳有聽過自己的電話錄音嗎？

...................................................john ho
日期：27.12.98

Before go, go, go...@*^_^%!!

2006-02-17T22:24:00.000-08:00

晨曦的調子﹙一﹚

　　　微風吹擦著窗外窗內
夢裡夢外　一晚間早上換來
一堆堆凋黃枯落的碎葉
　　魚肚白的晴空
鮮濡濕活的空氣正在游離
穿越窗櫺於我的心房
　　盪漾溫存成一新的希望
這是緩和心靈日子的獨白
隨焉落在街上的行人們
　奏喚的心弦附和顫動

自己的生活跟著別家人們的生活
　　　沉掉失落在黑漆的環境中
襟前懸掛著為社會繁榮的旗幟
努力在為別家人們的生活裏
扮演這扮演那稱職的角色
真的是自己的目標麼　　　

晨曦的調子﹙二﹚

地下車裏擠懨靜息屏著氣的人們
逐現無數浮離空中的黑瞳
唧唧咕咕…喳喳唧唧咕咕……
　車廂停下大門敞開了一道口
　簇擁而成一道洪
　陡地溶進新的領土
我是其中的一動員
游離分子與壞份子
相互迎面的一條對流
我和你和他　他們和你們
碰擦成　咯吠咩哞唧喵嗥

　泥濘內鑽冒探頭呻吟爭亂的蚯蚓
綑綁情感的呢喃
在乾癟的皮囊裏
縱發拚勁但動作遲緩
　抬問青天
靜待久侯而來的一滴蓬萊甘露

　我們騰然進入對端的廂子
在黑拱的隧道中央重疊著路軌悍衛衝刺
束縛情感的冷空氣
凝固了自己的盔甲
縱發拚勁但動作遲緩
　探望長空
靜待久侯而來的一滴蓬萊甘露

.....................john ho
第一稿　3.9.98
第二稿　22.9.98

My first poem!...before go, go, go...

2006-02-10T18:14:00.000-08:00

索 ‧ 乳白

八月十八日　　　和煦
下班的街上　徜徉解構　
　在人潮中鑽　　燜熱
汗濕　黏附著百褶的襯衣　
模糊掉失的眼　　探索
　吊高的眼　等同吊高的嗓音
　　雜亂　肅剎的
瑟縮　僅餘的空間中
　　　　竄動　　潛藏的鼠域

廢置氣罐　遺忘的紙箱　　
吱吱嘰嘰…
　乳白軟綿的　一圈一圈地轉
慌亂的四兄弟　接著目光一線連著的步速　碎碎的
　蹌住　　佇立　看在眼裡虐滅而錯落　糾纏
補償與平復　　吱吱嘰嘰…
踮著小小的足趾　兄弟輪著在叩見　打團

淺笑的梨渦　裂縫中洩漏氣味
　　在乳白軟綿中之間　　追逐流湍
人潮　　霹靂啪勒　　　躡入…
吱吱嘰嘰
　乳白繞縈心窩　徐徐吸一口
體受著　屬於同一天空下的
　　　　　　　　　溫暖空氣

..........................................................john ho
20.8.98下午六時三十分完

LO(oo)Oking for somewhere else!!

2006-02-06T03:20:00.000-08:00

Hey! I have been upset recently, not particularly, for a single matter or two...many unfairness happened to me, in fact. My career seems to be ruined and stuck in some way, that is the result of discriminations or something; they'll never give me chances to deal with the customers at the pharmacy. They set me up wickedly.

They have been trapping me, intentionally hired someone, me responsible for Webster-packs, I have, therefore, become a stupid person doing works in a small room alone. Complaints didn't help, speaking of Pharmaceutical Society of Australia, it didn't work, either; speaking of my preceptors, they trapped me as the cheapest labour to do the work no one liked, Webster-packs, there are more than 170 packs that need to be finished within two, or three days on alternate weeks; indeed I spent more than four days to finish them; I cant't do it faster than I did! Their request is ridiculous. Just wonder how I can be a qualified pharmacist at the end of this year. They'll never teach me.

I learnt something valuable in the past. Of course, the only person being able to guide and navigate the progress of life is my patience and strong will to survive. The fact is that they are not competent to be preceptors to train and lead new graduates to succeed. They would only asked me to do something factory-like works...they meant to as they are so mean!!...business men have no conscience.

I am wasting my time...though still keep an eye on the market.
It doesn't seem very promising, the positions have all gone as the training program has also begun.

...{~_~}...

Finally I made it...

2005-12-01T21:31:00.000-08:00

Over these years,...
I made it...I passed, I survived.
I am gonna graduate on the fifth of December..with my family and friends around me..

Lovely!...I'll never forget the moments at UQ. From advertising in Hong Kong to pharmacy in Brisbane, there was a lot of treasure I have found.

By the end of this month, I'll, probably, move to Ipswish for work. The pharmacy in Brassall offered me a position of pre-registered pharmacist, though it was only a verbal agreement and I haven't signed the contract with them yet...hopefully it is gonna be fine in a couple of weeks.

I am going to start another new chapter of my life, from studies to work again...that makes me excited and worried as the old bugs there have always been in my bones..I just can sense it.

Tomorrow is another day,...I will smile again..
Now I learnt why some stars are into the sea.

They were the presents prepared for those with dreams, so one day, they might be found by someone, who is very much desire for life, and be picked up from oceans, and then into the pockets...

Take care of our treasure!

Alive...

2005-11-04T19:30:00.000-08:00

Heart is red, I am alive.

Sky is blue, I look through out of the window...

Black and white, the mood is gray.
Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.

Something I expect and someone I desire for...
...very much alike, and very much alive!

Time goes in silence, I am alive.

Time is not a cure,
as I found silence has been working on me...

Each night, when I go to sleep, I die
and the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.

Alive, as I am expecting.

Keep silence...

One of my reflective case studies

2005-10-18T17:00:00.000-07:00

PATIENT’S PRESENTATON: One of the cases, the patient who was aged and a regular customer with poly-medications. When I reviewed his record in the computer and during my counseling with him, he has been suffering from type 1 diabetes, chest conditions (pneumonia), heart conditions, back pain and reflux disease for years. He came to the pharmacy with scripts to collect all of the medications shown below: Duride and Lasix were presented as new scripts with no strength and quantity.

THE MEDICATIONS INCLUDED:
Coversyl 4mg daily
Somac 40mg daily
Diamicron 80mg bd
Seretide two puffs bd
Spirival 18mcg daily
Digoxin 250mcg mane
Warfarin 5mg mdu
Protophane 10 units mdu
Duride ?? mane
Lasix ?? bd

He is independent, being able to express well, giving injection himself; having an oxygen masks on for a few hours at night while going to bed. He has been suffering from persisted nausea and vomiting from time to time (nearly two years)…and a bit of faintness; however, he never reports them to his doctor...
He stated that his random sugar level for him was between 4- 8 mmol/L.

CHOICE OF ACTION:I was stunned since he has been suffering unwanted side effects like nausea and vomiting. I stressed out and suggested that it would be better for him to have a daily report for recording what happens during his regimens;…and should report to his doctor for advice …in addition it might be of use for him to have an appointment with his diabetic educator who could help him a bit with handling his unwanted side effects and diabetic management.

Since the scripts for Duride and Lasix with no strength, I asked the pharmacist for advice. His final act on this case was bit a funny and didn’t seem right to me. He just went straight to ask the patient if the doctor told him any changes of his medications. OK! This still made sense to me. The patient said he was not sure…it seemed there was communication’s problem between the health care worker and the patient but no one has noticed it so far. The pharmacist then looked at his past medical record, and thus got his doses for Duride (a month ago) and Lasix (a few months ago) in the previous script that were 60mg mane and 40mg bd, respectively.

OUTCOME:Until that moment I knew what the pharmacist would do next…he asked me to follow the old regimens shown in our record, to keep following the case and to do dispensing for him; and a clear message I got from him is that he would really get on his nerves if the staff at the pharmacy made any delay on serving customers. Perhaps he was afraid of losing customers or something. I did what he told and kept dispensing and finishing the case with more than ten scripts in six or seven minutes.

REFLECTION:There have been many patients on poly-medications; their remedies look complicated, and therefore it should be important for us to make rational and appropriate decisions on checking their medications, as the second person who can improve their overall health outcomes apart from their doctors, through reviewing their medications if they are appropriate to be prescribed in some respect, in terms of unwanted side effects and indications; especially the strength and the quantity of the medications that are significant to influence the therapeutic effects of the medicines.

I thought the first few approaches initiated by the pharmacist still kind of made sense to me; however, the proper way to solve this problem should not look at the time delay to provide the customers with medications, but how we could do to minimize the risks of using wrong strength and quantity of the medicines for them. I don’t know why the pharmacist didn’t contact with the doctor by phone to firm about the right regimens for the patient.
Does it really matter to interrupt someone’s work (the doctor)? It would make the doctor have kind of bad impression on the pharmacy? I think it wouldn’t. Really, I don’t care how someone might look about us…Most importantly, we should do our works properly, bring light to their health through the primary measure for treatment of diseases, drug therapy, like the dawn that we all look forward to seeing in the dark.

She, naughty but nice? I, busy but happy! Uncertainties?

2005-09-29T14:18:00.000-07:00

Looking at this picture, I wish I could be her, or perhaps him. But it does not matter. Something really matters to me is about aging...Not the view how I look at myself, however, how others look at me in fact...It is no use denying the fact that we all repy on opportunities somehow from time to time. The achievements we have got in our lives not all be fulfiled by our own efforts, though at least chances were given to us sometimes by others. I am telling the truth we all should know. In somehow, it is bit bitter-sweet as we experience, the fact is, even trying hard, it doesn't have to get a good outcome as we expect.

There is one week semester break; however, I have no break!
Heaps of assignments and projects come to visit me one after one...exhausting and lengthy; and that never comes to their end.
I have finished two of them this week so far and there are still two coming in a week, and another one in two weeks before the final exams. The study plan has been ruined in some way...except squeezing some spare time myself in early morning for a review of the old stuff, ha-ha but not much I have done in fact!

The exams started to worry me somehow and what I should do for my sake. Just come to my reality is that something has been bothering a lot lately. I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR SOMEWHERE ABLE TO OFFER ME A POSITION OF PRE-REGISTRATION PHARMACIST FOR NEXT YEAR. I have sent more than forty job applications through job vacancy shown on the notice board. All were unsuccessful as far as I have known...even they would never think of offering me a job interview. They haven't seen me, and certainly things provided that I will be one of the students graduating at the end of the year apart from the differences between me and my classmates. That is, my overseas status and working experiences that let the cat out of the bag, my age has become somewhat of obstacle and difficulty to my job possibility. How they could judge who suits the post with no interviews offered? The resume needs to be modified and changed in some way, especially the stuff like working experiences in advertising which revealed my age. I do not need to mention about this, no advantages that I could find if applied to pharmacy. That is terrible and devastating! I remember some phone interviews in which they did ask about my age and end up, no positive response would be given.

Racism and ageism?!

Something reminded me today,...a piece of news of death!!

2005-09-14T19:50:00.000-07:00

I remember one unexpected medical event I encountered was in Winton Hospital, located in central of Queensland where there was only a doctor in town. I met a nurse there and every now and then was able to have chats with her during her night-shifts. One night she was on night duty, a patient in the hospital died because of the delay of the management by the doctor. He was off and asked the nurse to give some medicine to calm the patient on the phone as the patient showed agitated further with time.

At that time, I was there and understood that the condition of the patient became severe. I hated myself at the time since not being able to offer any help. The early morning the doctor came, and was not sure of the patient’s condition and the underlying cause of his symptoms, and hence the patient was further given more medicines for his agitation and agressiveness. The patient died as a result. In fact, someone might be sued later on during the lengthy internal meetings at the hospital. There was nothing wrong with the nurse on duty that night. She exactly did what be told and however, she had been upset and kind of blamed herself. Over time, somehow I had become her counselor since the day I was at the ward with her to know what happened and experienced that fatal event during my life for the first time.

In the back of my mind, understand that be a strong, educated and knowledgeable person to help people may not be easy, particularly with passion and enthusiasm for others; the path where I am approaching should be the way for me to work with someone in needs, for the least effort that I am able to put in, hoping that we are all able to have a good health and prospect for our future. Since health is a fundamental and basic we need to gain, and then further to look for others, other desires that people have much for in their lives...like Disneyland! We all dearm of being part of it one day, with flying colours.

QUM presentation today

2005-09-07T20:20:00.000-07:00

I just finished my QUM (Quality Use of Medicines) presentation. The project was about the patient's concerns and success on the methadone and buprenorphine programs in Caboolture...It didn't take long, and of course, I was nervous...that was a kind of relief, no matter what the result would be. "You will be fine and no need to worry about! It was rather good, in fact." Ian whispered to me as I got back to my seat in the tutorial room. 'Deep breaths and smiles' that is what I could do...Everything's gone, so just let it be...I suppose that things will turn out fine.

We do the first, and the rest someone will take care of...This kind of thought I always have. "Do you remember how many words we need to write for NHPA (National Health Priority Areas), Nelson?" I queried, he looked odd and said nothing. Does he still remember there are NHPA, MPE (Multiple Professional Education), drug delivery and TGA modules that need to be finished in three weeks or so?...His indifference often drives me crazy, a guy like him and I just wonder how he can manage his studies. Oh! Sorry, I shouldn't scold and complain of the one who is always slack. That is him; friends can either be accepted, or refused, but not criticized and complained at all. What are friends for and about? I should appreciate for what I have encountered in the life, no matter what! good or bad,...that is life, up and down, come and go, working as a cycle, a 'merry-go-round' We all once liked to play with when young. Having grown up a little, I forgot! That is home, though. I'd better apply this attitude to everything approaching me, with smiles and peace and then to love. He has been upset about his results last semester; however, I kicked him and left...Linda followed and was walking behind me...I woke up and then school began! But look at him....wooooo,..............school began, and then he got up but still in sleep!!
Interesting....

I am back to school

2005-08-31T18:19:00.000-07:00

I haven't written any for a while; just was back to school from placement out of Brisbane this week, somewhere that I needed to commute to by train, each way took me two hours, contributing to somewhat waste of time on the train for four hours every day, sometimes I did read something, at the same time, with tiredness, though!
Of course, I could hardly have chances to do other things but works at the placement site, serving, dispensing and counselling with the patients.

The one that I did for my placement was a busy pharmacy. There were six computers able to work for dispensing altogether, at least two pharmacists on duty, two Pre-Reg pharmacists and six pharmacy assistants. However, there was not enough space for customers walking around, I mean, that was just like a typical, small grocery in Hong Kong in the 80's.

Over six hundred or more prescriptions on average every day...I have never, ever seen the ones like that in the past...mostly, they would only have a hundred and two or so. Therefore, I had been busy all the time, and non-stop working there during the day.

Overall, I think I did well there, but in fact, my preceptor blamed me from time to time, for the minor mistakes, careless (in his opinions) and not looking after the customers at the pharmacy well. Since one thing always happening to your boss or supervisers is true, they regard the ones working for them inferior or something, or never show their appreciation but requests as babies needed to do something in order to get attention by their parents. It is somehow not worth doing, or if I looked at the other side, and then I would feel better and able to please myself in some way, or being dull and down for the rest of the day. "It was still good to me, anyway I am a student who has to follow instructions given by the others." I reckoned. They want more and more from you; you may feel frustrated, collapsed or not bear it any longer one day while they keep throwing high expectation in you, but who knows!

But although all I said above seemed to make kind of complaints or something, my preceptor is still a good person to work with. By the stress and nervousness he had given to me, I might, therefore, improve and concentrate more on what I needed to achieve in a short period of time. That would be the way to win the customers' trusts and appreciation, and further that I gain confidence in pharmacy, the program I have been doing over the last few years. Being in Brisbane these years, certainly, something can be easily observed is that the people there have worked inefficiently, no matter whatever you tend to apply it to, that is the Australia lifestyle you will expect and see. As I have been there for years, adjust myself to this new environment was the first thing I looked at; however, I failed, every now and then I missed the people and things in Hong Kong. And there it was, first, the place where I was able to work as I did in the past. Second, it might suit for my learning process as a new gradute at the end of this year, who is looking for more and more challenging things in the year to come.

If possible, I may like to work with my preceptor after graduation though I still look for some other opportunities in somewhere else.

What's new in the life!

2005-08-02T18:35:00.000-07:00

Today is Tuesday; the day on each week in August for doing some research at the library, for the project undergoing in the placement site smoothly. I am glad, with the help of my preceptor, to have opportunities to work for him and to fulfil my QUM (Quality Use of Medicines) project...

My objective of my project is about patients' understanding, concerns and success on their Methadone/ Buprenophrine program. It is crucial to their relief from addiction if understanding the experiences and difficulties that they arise during the treatment.

In Australia, there are, certainly, drug clinics for drug addicts. However, what has been contributing to the Methadone/ Buprenophrine program's success; mostly because they are common and popular to be provided by the local pharmacies as long as the addicts get precriptions from licensed prescribing doctors...For the time of being, I am doing my QUM at a community pharmacy, further to the north from Brisbane, commute there by train for more than an hour for each way every day. It is bothersome but somehow I have got used to it...that may be chances for me to build up my confidence and knowledge together as the preceptor there I am working with is a tough one. In order to take task efficently and get preparation for the final exams in Novemeber, for four weeks I will make every effort to achieve whatever opportunities approaching me...

I pray sometimes, I am not a Christian, though!

the variation of life...

2005-07-28T19:25:00.000-07:00

Heart is red...sky is blue...the colors in between is my mood...

At the end of June, I was told to contact with the preceptor at Rockhampton Hospital for accommodation...so I did; learning from the past experiences, they did provide students with accommodation during their placements...

I supposed that everything would be all right..and all I needed to do was to get preparation and to pack up my stuff for a month there...however, last week all of a sudden I got an e-mail to inform me that the staff accommodation there would be shut; I had to look for where to stay myself... for a month there it would cost me a lot...I didn't expect it...therefore, I negotiated again and again...and the answer was no...no places, no options, and no reimbursement (becasue of my overseas status; only offer funding for domestic students) etc...they were all so unfair and made me frustrated, it only seemed to be my problem but not for the others...

At the end of the day I had to search for where it should be for my placement in Brisbane myself since having told that it was too close to the date of the placement starting next Monday and the school might not be able to give me any help at all...and it was just like kind of menance and warning to make me give in to what they had arranged for me: go there and be a good student to pay your own expenses as they had promised there would be accommodation available in the hospital, and now they said "no", as well as for the others able to claim their money back... but overseas' students...

Although my plan in the hospital has been ruined, I will never give up and just do my own learning progress: looking for a community pharmacy myself for the QUM placement. I got a positive response from a pharmacist who is offering me a chance to fulfil my placement there as scheduled starting next Monday... it is sort of a rural pharmacy in Caboolture, a hour away from Brisbane by train... it isn't that bad at all...what will come next? Who knows... perhaps we do know, indeed!

We are creating our lives...in every day, every hour, every minute and every second...
Be positive! Friends,...

life is always good to everyone

2005-07-26T19:00:00.000-07:00

I believe! And you?
Today for giving a comment to my friend, Phyllis, I have therefore become a member of Blogger... so, I will drop some words here every now and then...and share what my life is about with you guys...